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The Funniest (Expletive Removed) Review Ever

Updated: Jul 18, 2019

Just got the following “review” from someone who read Book I of the DJ Slaughter Series. Rather than try to explain it, I thought I would just copy/paste it for your amusement. Please note that I have removed a few profane words to keep it PG rated. Funny stuff…

Dear James.

I review every indie-author I read, trying to give accurate feedback so that they may improve themselves as they progress as writers. I do it in a very unique way. I keep a diary of my current feelings based on where I am in the book.

Hope it helps,

Josh Taber

July 12th, Chapter 1

I was recommended this book from someone telling me it’s like the Jack Reacher series. Boy were they wrong. Nothing like Jack Reacher. The author is nothing like Lee Child. The writing is done by an obvious newcomer to the scene. It seems compelling enough to continue and see where this goes, so I’m going to give this a few minutes and see where it takes me. Still not sure how this loser is ever going to measure up to Reacher.

(Expletive removed) Ok now that was a great way to end a chapter. Makes me want to turn the page and start the next, for sure. What did he see that made him do that? What the (Expletive removed) did I miss? Torn between moving on to see what happens next, or backtracking to try to find the missed clue. Choosing to go forward. OK, James, you have my attention…

July 12th, Chapter 2

OK really short chapter but now I’m definitely curious about what it going on, even though I now know why DJ did what he did. I like the perspective changes in third person. Still have my doubts that this series could be one to put on the shelf next to Reacher. Those are big shoes to fill.

July 12th, Chapter 3

Still no Lee Child, but I’m starting to not care. Author is a newbie, for sure, but the story is dragging me along despite my original doubts.

July 12th, Chapter 10

OK, maybe I was wrong. I stayed glued to this stupid book so much so that I forgot to update my diary. I’ve been at this a few hours now, and I only want to continue. Maybe I was looking at this all wrong. James is his own man. He does things his way. He is unique. Trying to compare him to Child may have been a mistake. And DJ is very likable and someone you really want to root for. Like the author, he is unique and shouldn’t be compared to any other character. He is a true original. In this saturated genre, that is a good thing.

Anyways, I think I will push on for a few more chapters and then call it quits. I will try to be more diligent and update my feelings and findings on every chapter.

July 12th, Chapter 15

ABBI (Expletive removed) ROCKS! Ok, now I am officially hooked and don’t want the ride to end. I have been so caught up that I forgot to update with every chapter. It’s now late, and I really should go to bed. I have work in the morning. But DJ is a badass disguised in wounded-sheep’s clothing. And the Abbi character makes me want to cheer out loud. I really like the Brett Foster character too, and I am curious how this is all going to end. I vow to read only one more chapter because I see the title of it on my screen and I know that I will finally get introduced to the big bad guy.

Again, not a Reacher. Not a Child. Don’t give a flying (expletive removed).

July 13th, Chapter 29

It is now 4 in the morning. Read the whole (Expletive removed) thing! The ending was a real kick in the balls! I officially have to get up for work in 2 ½ hours and guess what I’m going to do. That’s right! I have already downloaded (Expletive removed) book 2. I figured I can get a good start on it before I have to leave. I’ve even timed out exactly how long it will take for me to get a shower, get dressed, and the minimum drive time required to get to work. I repeat what I said earlier. Again, not a Reacher. Not a Child. Don’t give a flying (expletive removed). I’m officially a fan.

Keep writing!

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